I agree with all said. And will only add that often when a spouce is having an affair outside the marriage, they sometimes do not give the whole truth concerning their spouce. You get sort of a "have sympathy for me" version. You know, like maybe she does know how to have sex, maybe he is allowed to curse in the house and maybe she isn't really trying to change him. Maybe he is presenting partial truths here. I am very weary of people who cheat and use excuses like this to do so, it doesn't speak to what he does in the marriage does it? It kind of seems like a blame and poor me type of deal.

As for the rest I agree it is not fair to you or to her. He does need to make a choice and obviously right now he is hurting two women he claims to love. Which does seem selfish and very uncaring, not really loving actually.