|
Butterflying, it seems e-mailing and texting boundaries have been an issue for a long time now. You posted a couple of times back in 2010 about e-mailing much in the same way you've posted more recently (I mean before your husband passed away) about texting. In short, he doesn't allow it, he considers it therapy by e-mail/text and not helpful for you. You said back in 2010 as you have said more recently, that it's very hard for you to keep to this boundary, and e-mail (and text) anyway.
I can understand why you would expect these parameters to change now considering the terrible events you've recently been through. But it sounds like he's been pretty clear and consistent on not making exceptions, but you've continued to fight it (and continue sending e-mails). It sounds like a fight that you will continually lose -it may be time for a new therapist.
My understanding is that he's been working on coping skills with you for some years now, and specifically what you can do when you get the urge to contact between sessions. Obviously, at the moment, I can see why the usual coping strategies may not be working considering what you're going through.
Overall, though, it sounds like the one session a week just isn't enough. I think you said you've been through DBT group before, but would you consider doing it again? You would have the support of the actual group, plus I understand you can call someone in between to help you with skills? (not sure how that works if you have a separate therapist). Or maybe some other type of group therapy format could help.
As far as the comment about taking on more clients because he needs the money --my therapist told me (this was in the context of scheduling changes) that his department at the hospital (hospital-based clinic) was lowering everyone's salaries and that he may be taking on more private clients. I don't see the big deal, but that's me. In any case, context is everything.
It sounds, though, that you're generally very dissatisfied with the therapy and the therapist. So as hard as it would be -I know you've been with him for a long time- you could search for a different one. Depending on the patient, many therapists don't like much out of session contact, especially if there are boundary issues, but maybe you could at least find someone more nurturing and supportive. It sounds like it's not working out with this one, or not anymore.
Best of luck.
|