My husband is always there for me but i also know how he react on certain stuff. At least i made it through the night now to be safe at work. Wish i never said a thing last night. I now have to make it right this morning in the car and i also know how he will react. But i need to do it. I agree about my son just hearing what daddy has said. During the night i ask my hubby if i could drink a sleeping tablet because i cant sleep can not stop crying ( i ask because i don't want to drink and then something happens and then its my fault) and he said no. Then i told him then i had to lay next to him so that i can calm down and luckily after a while he said ok. I hate it when i feel like this and we have to be apart ( scared that something happens and then i will carry it with me for the rest of my life ( like the time with my mom)). When will i ever learn to keep my mouth close just show what kind of person i am. Another demon that i will carry with me forever.