I have been told by several close friends that they think I could have BPD. I have never gone to a psychotherapist before and am a little nervous. Just recently I have found myself obsessed with cleaning and am scared that I could also have OCD. Maybe I'm not as obsessed with cleaning so much as organizing and making things neat and orderly. I cannot sleep at night unless everything is in it's place. If my husband cooks while I am not at home I get really upset b/c I won't be there to clean up "properly" after he cleans up. If the bed is made up "wrong" I get really agitated and have to redo it. I also know in my mind that something HAS to be wrong with me. That I have some undiscovered illness that no one has been able to detect yet. I keep thinking that every time I go to the doctor, they might find something wrong with me, finally. I just find things to obsess over and some of them are taking control of my life. I know I am not normal, but try to put up a front like I am. Does ANYONE know how I feel? I am only 23 and feel like inside I am a big jumbled mess sometimes, while other times I am riding high and living life to the fullest.
I took the two quizzes, and while I understand they do not take the place of a confirmed diagnosis by a professional, it is scary how close to me they are. I am embarrased to tell my family b/c I think my parents would accuse me of just trying to get attention. (which is NOT what I am doing).
Where should I go from here?? Thanks so much for your patience..I know this was long!