I'm thinking that maybe there is a middle-way approach. By that I mean: maybe get help, but don't volunteer the term "borderline personality disorder." Here in the U.S. the term "personality disorder" comes with connotations that I think are unfair to people with that diagnosis. I'm speaking as a consumer of psych services and, also, as someone who worked in the mental health field. I would hear co-workers say things like, "Oh this person is displaying what is basically Axis 2 @#$%." (Axis 2 being the category, in the USA, that encloses all personality disorders.)

I became extremely disillusioned about the attitudes I found toward personality disorders. I'm talking about from people from whom I would have expected more, even psychiatrists. I consider myself to have a cluster C personality disorder (the category associated with anxiety.) However I would never again cooperate with having that label assigned to me. Instead I go with: Mood Disorder - depression with anxiety. That's unfortunate because I would rather get the label that I myself feel is more accurate, but it is just too stigmatizing.

Your concerns are totally valid, I'm sorry to say. I think you kind of have to finesse the system to get the support you need and are entitled to without attracting what you don't need and shouldn't be subjected to.