its 1am here and im hungry and so tired but dont want to sleep because i dont want to be alone in the dark with my thoughts. and my mum took my stuffed animal home with her yesterday by mistake so i dont even have him. ive never spent a week without him in my entire life and now i wont see him again until next saturday at the earliest. i know its a really stupid thing to be upset about but i am.
it feels so good to know the growling in my stomach is all the fat being used up but im so so scared im going to cave in and start bingeing again the way i was before and just put on even more weight. im somewhere between 5'4 and 5'5 and weigh about 148/147 depending on what mood the scales are in so i have to lose this hideous... slop! suffocating me. please please please i need fingers crossed and positive thoughts and anything you can send my way to keep my will power on this so i can get down to a normal size. im really trying so hard. eating more than i want to at each meal and trying to eat a couple of times a day so that i dont get so hungry i crack but so i dont eat so much i dont lose weight. i hate looking and feeling this way. i just want to cut it all off.