It is awesome that you got out of that situation! And I'm so, so, so sorry that you went through this. You are certainly not a horrible person. I had such a T for almost 2 years. I processed this awful, unhealthy relationship with my current T. One day when I felt so badly about myself for having stayed in the relationship so long and for being "stupid," "deserving" of such a bad relationship T shared that while she was in grad school she had a T who was unhealthy and not understanding, etc. This made me feel so much better - coming from someone whom I consider an excellent judge of character, was in T school, and most important is now an excellent T. So it happens to all of us...