Hi, my husbnd has uttered these same sentiments to me many times in the 20 years we have been together. You have to believe that it is the illness talking. This is quite possibly one of the hardest things to do. At least it is for me. You have to learn to separate the depressive talk from the reality. It helped me to make a list of things he does/did that I know are sincere and a list of the things that are mean/unrealistic. When things get tense focus on the nice memories, thoughts, speech that you have shared with him. THOSE are the real person.

I also have learned the hard way to back off. Epseically during times of depression. I have found through lots of tears and fighting that empowering him to help himself has offerend the best recovery.