Usually when I hear a relationship described as intense, it usually means rocky, rough, rollercoaster, lacking boundaries or generally unhealthy. Going by your other threads about this relationship and this man it seems even you know and have called it toxic.

Sounds like there are so many issues going on that maybe a wiser thing to do would be to take time away from this to work on your own issues and get healthier and then reevaluate and see if this relationship is still something you want to persue or not.

Viewing it as giving up or not giving up is really unhelpful, and kind of black and white thinking for a complex situation. It also is a view that doesn't leave room for making better choices for yourself. Some people would see that statement as strength, I think it can be a statement of fear. Sometimes it's hard to see things clearly or think them through clearly when there is so much involvement and chaos and intense feelings. That can affect our choices big time and our judgment, when otherwise we might make very different ones, or in hindsight.

I agree with Winter4methat getting an appartment together at this time sounds like a bad idea, given the issues from your other threads, it would actually seem scary to make that commintment at this time.

You said you have been with him since spring, thats not that long ...so how much of the time since then has great or fantastic and how much has not? It sounds like from what you have descibed there has been a lot of chaos, drama, hurt feelings, and resentment in such a short amount of time.

I do feel for you, I have been in a relationship that was not healthy and still hard to leave. I do believe the best advice you have gotten here and will get is to leave and focus and work on getting yourself to where you want to be, and then look for a relationship..a healthy one that can support your own health and growth and the other persons as well.