hey tinyrabbit, I think you are amazing to be reaching out. From what I read, I think you show great clarity of thought when it comes to how you think things should be. I agree with your t that you are at a crossroads. I think that all people who start something like purging have a window of opportunity where they can stop. After that it is so much harder to stop. The brain becomes effected when it goes on longer.

I think you are one smart cookie. Even though its so much harder to apply that smart thinking to oneself ( dont I know that !!). The denial. But it does get worse as time goes on. Thats why i hope you will not get in deeper with the purging. And make the decision to stop before it gets worse. BTW, you are not attention seeking. And telling your T was a very wise thing to do.