Quote:
Originally Posted by HourHand
I am thankful that you understand where I am coming from. You nailed it on the head. It is a huge betrayal. It is a control thing, isn't it! . Yes, someone did point out to me that the things he used to say to me were old hat abuse lines. I just never knew it. I'd hear, "No other man would ever live with you besides me!" or "No man would ever put up with you besides me." I would buy it too!
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Sorry you are hurting.
Your husband has controlling tendencies and has been destroying your self-esteem over the years by those backhanded comments.I suppose it is at an all time low now.
You will have to take responsibility for your own happiness.Open communication about your needs and what you don't like about his behavior with an assertive stance might get him to acknowledge the fact that you are hurting.You both could also give marriage counselling a try(might be tough to get him to a therapist though if he insists all is well, but you can try).
Most importantly,you need to work on and regain your self esteem which has been shattered.Another area to work on thereafter is boundary setting.These will take time and work but I'm sure you will put in both.The support of family,friends and a counselor can work wonders for you.I suggest you get started with working toward making yourself feel good right away.
Good luck.