Went to alch therapy and lied about drinking I am drinking now,but did not have intention of drinking. Came home to find swiss woman digging up flower bed so felt insecure because she's watching me. I see her " why do you need to be away from the house tell me what your doing" As she's *****ing at her husband in swiss which by the way I understand. Starting topamax , so good because I know it makes everything taste disgusting so I wont eat and get so f888ing fat which I never was until all these meds. Just going to eat slimfast and thats it . even thought it might help if i physically tape my mouth shut with masking tape. Actually I feel pretty pissed off, but also pretty unstable as now I am wondering whether I should just go ahead with stupid meds make me drowsy at this point I don't neeed sleeop I need to be producing I had so many ideas meds are shutting my ideas down . aggggghhhhhhhhh.