I don't know what got into me just now. I looked on FB at T's daughter's page, (that was bad in itself, I know) and suddenly there was T's page. She hasn't had one for a couple of years.

I'm triggered in a lot of ways. I know it was wrong and it's my fault I feel so bad now. She's like a celebrity to me. I was feeling so good today, and now this! It's like I deliberately want to sabotage everything. I wish she didn't have a FB page! She's got such a beautiful photo of herself and her kids, and so many people commented on that to her. She deserves the compliments--it just stirs me up inside and makes me cry.

I think I'm going to put some photos on my FB of my trip and see what happens. Yeah, I'm jealous of T.

Please, no "I told you so" comments. I already feel bad enough. I still know that T and I have a relationship even though I'm not in her personal life. I'm in her work life, and I know that's very important to her.