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I don't KNOW, tigergirl. I think it was curiousity that made me look, and then when I did look, it all triggered me. I thought I was "over" wanting to be in T's life. I felt SO good about her birthday gifts, and her hugging me last session. That's carried over into sharing my artwork and writing with friends, and getting praise. I feel good about myself. I'm proud of myself, not just because of the praise. I even went to do some volunteer work today that I've been putting off for months!
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You are doing so well with the writing and artwork and that's wonderful you did some volunteering
I know you mentioned the jealousy ... but also wondered if any of it connected to doing so well but then stopping and worrying; and needing to reconnect to your T in the old ways you are familiar with?