Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I could do that. It's just that part of me, a bigger part than I want to admit, WANTED to see those photos of T, and the comments to her. I wanted to know what others think of her, and I'm glad she's well-liked. I like looking at her photo. I know it's this whole addiction, thing, and yes--she'll probably be "glad" to talk to me about addiction, since she just took a course on it. I don't know if I can, though. I hate disappointing her so much. I'd rather tell her about painting, and doing well.  I don't want her to know I cheated, and how I wanted to do it, and couldn't stop myself. But she's my T so I have to tell her, I guess. Oh, yuck. I don't feel good about this. It hurts my stomach. |
You don't have to tell her, actually. You could accept that you wanted to do this and did so. Own it and then move on with your life. [And please hear that in the non-judgmental, very kind way I mean it. I am truly not busting on you here.] Seriously, this does not have to be this huge deal. Put it behind you and just talk about what you want to talk about and let go of the guilt and self flagellation. Maybe one of the steps in getting over this thing with your T is to resist the urge to tell her everything, and keep working on not googling her, etc. One mistake does mean a total relapse. Back on the wagon, Woman!