Rainbow
It is sabotage, why do you feel the need to hurt yourself so much? It's addictive isn't it?
You said you need to lose weight and out yourself down so much, when the reality is you are volunteering, you always help people on here, you are never mean but you are only mean to Rainbow.
Is it to do with your conditions of worth? The things we were told when we were growing up. Were you out down and excluded?
How do you know that your t is not jealous of you and your life, just because t appears to be happy on Facebook you can't trust this because people have facades on that website. They pretend to be happy but a lot of the times they aren't.
The sooner you accept yourself and the precious being you are the sooner t and her private life won't seem as important to you