Recently, I've been away from this website, as I wasn't sure as what to post. However, for now, I have returned, and have something that is possibly worthwhile to say.

Well, I cannot describe exactly how depression feels. It's much deeper than longing or sadness; it's like melancholy cascading over me, intensified several times over, with sensations of physical pain sometimes, mental pain, and emotional distress. At times like this, like today, I tend to binge. And today, I ate more than I'm proud to admit. From the moment I woke up up until this moment, I've been stuffing my face all day.

I am also feeling gripping insecurity. My cousin, who has always been the shorter one, is finally larger than me. My father also seems to share more in common with him and prefers to talk to him. My cousin and my dad are both into hunting and fishing, two things I'm just not that deeply interested in.

After this, it got my thinking, and I don't have any particular skills or talents that I can even recall. My art and stories are sub par, my poetry is lacking, my strength isn't all that great, my fighting skills aren't as great as I used to fancy them, I am failing art class thanks to my ****** art, I attempted to write music and lyrics, and have failed terrible, am terrible at design of any sort, and even a favored pastime of mine, video games, are something I suck at. I've never had any sort of relationship or anyone whose ever had a crush on me, found me attractive, or liked me. My social anxiety keeps me from meeting new people, and the though of just going into public scares me more than I can describe with text or even words.

At times like this, I don't feel like trying anymore. My plight isn't very moving, I'm not an interesting nor important person, no one has truly cared to help other than one, my interests are obscure and differ from that of anyone, cutting my chances of identifying with any in my local area, I've never felt the sweet embrace of physically intimacy, or the coddling ecstasy of emotional intimacy, and I don't think I ever will. The worst thing about it is that no one cares, and I stand alone. That is why I am here-- hopefully, there are others who may care, sympathize, help, or even identify with me.