I don't know why I keep breathing....I'm not afraid of death, I'm half way there..this life has been awful. Starting at birth...really...I can't take another blow ....I'm too sensitive for this world...everything is toooooo much...if your mother never loved or wanted you and u feel that as a child and those r ur first beliefs, what's the rest of your life going to be like..I've always got my self worth from doing anything needed for others, trying to show love, so I might be accepted by anyone...nothing sexual but throwing myself into any need....often the wrong situation, I just couldn't see what was real...it's all been a waste...I'm a burden to even ponder...I just want to delete my memory on this earth....it's no wonder this has manifested, everyone throws u away if u were picked at all....I just don't want to burden someone even more by having to go thru my belongings...clean my empty shell of a soul....I just want to vanish....so unfair so many people dying just to live thru some awful disease and I'm still here...full of guilt and hatred and shame for who I never turned into....my heart always pure my intentions only love...but I've nothing left not even a cry for help just a note to erase and delete.....