Control and feeling in control is a problem in schizophrenia. I do disagree with you about the allusiveness and beauty and mystery of the disease. Many people here have had their experiences with the condition , my experience without a doubt is one of a malfunctioning mind kind. And my psychotic states make sense to me they are very logical , and are devoid of mystery. That is after the fact of course. So the presentation of the illness is like a radio where the tuner dial is hovering in and out of a radio station. Conversation is low then high , intelligible then unintelligible , so my illness feels like interference just like the tuning of a radio , and does not feel mysterious. But other people experience there illness differently. I accept that.