(((Hugs)))) Many here understand this pain. Allow yourself to feel it, but don't allow it to take over your life. Try not to dwell upon it specifically...but let it "be"...

IMO when something like this happens we tend to tell ourselves all sorts of lies about it. I think that is the depression. We don't think straight. We can't seem to find any "good" answers.

These feelings can be handled. This might turn out to be good. Right now all you see and feel is a "finality" of it all.... and that might not be the real ending to the story... I know it's hard to have any hope right now... but keep on and work through this, and become a better person from it... and then take the future as it waits for you. TC