Hi Blackd0g, Happy new year, and welcome to PC.

PC is a great place to come to get through depression. mark this as the beginning of the road to happiness. i am sure 2007 will be a good one for you, and it will have been 16 years in the making.

we do lose many loved ones through depression, we cant help it, we cant control it, and they dont understand. thats why they leave. unfortunately this is out of our control, but try to remember that these people who dont try to understand and help arent worthy of being in our lives. we deserve better than that, and one day you will meet someone who will understand and stick by you.

make sure you discuss things here you believe are causing you distress. talking about it and expressing your thought and emotions is the best way to defeat depression, thats why this site works so well.

congratulations on the smoke and drink, these (especially drink) do not help depression, so its best to shed these binds.

you seem to me as if you have started your journey to happiness and i am sure it wont be a long journey.

again, welcome to PC, and we are all here for you anytime, day or night.

simon