Thanks Boopers

it did have a huge impact on me at the time, as i was deep in depression at the time, it tipped me over the edge and yet i still had to get up everyday and go to work and pretend nothing happened. that was the hard part of the aftermath - having no one to talk to.

i was utterly distraught that she didnt stick up for me, and i am amazed that not one of them (including the mutual friend who i had grown up with - went through school together!) at any point did they stick up for me, or say "hey, you know he was only doing the right thing". i dont speak with the mutualf riend now, i feel betrayed by all involved. personally i dont care how she is now, im past caring. i put my all into helping her, and for 8 months i single handedly convinced her EVERYDAY not to kill herself, not to cut herself, not to do drugs, not to kill the bullies. whilst having to battle of my own severe depression, and stopping myself doing all those things to myself. i was dragged down deeper than i already was when i was helping her, but i knew that if i could help her, if i could stop the bullying, or at least ease it, i would be able to deal with my own depression afterwards. i didnt even ask for that burden, the mutual friend just put us in touch and before i knew it i was in too deep and couldnt abandon someone who was hurting so much, its against my nature. if i know someoen is hurting i will bend over backwards for them, do all i can. i suppose she just didnt want help.

i know i did the right thing, and i have let it go. but i bottled it up at the time and i havent talked about it until now, nearly 3 years on, when i was confronted with it in Chat. just goes to show Chat works.

simon