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Old Oct 22, 2013, 03:32 PM
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lido78 lido78 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: East Coast
Posts: 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid View Post
I would try to do something new, or get started on something you've always wanted to do. Do you have any dreams or aspirations that have fallen by the wayside? Now's a good time to pick those up again. Also I would suggest really trying to work on yourself, maybe try facing some of your fears. And just keep trying new things, if they don't work, don't worry about it, just brush it off and move on to the next thing.

Maybe I'm like your ex in that I'd prefer to have space after a relationship too. I wouldn't be opposed to having a friendship down the line but for the first while I think space is important so that the two of you can move on with your lives. Perhaps he feels the same as me and maybe just didn't explain it to you? I generally think the more time I spend with my ex-partner after a break up the harder it becomes to accept the break up. The point is to give time for you both to move on, become stable on your own first, then think about being friends again. Anyway, I don't know if that's the case but maybe that can help you to understand why he might want his space right now.
Makes sense to me...I wouldn't want to hang out with him at this point either and agree that that would be difficult. I just wanted one conversation about the break up so that we could part with some kind of mutual understanding/respect. The point of that would be to be friends one day...some time down the line. By not speaking at all, it feels as if there was some anger involved but no explanation about the anger. So, it just makes it all the more dramatic and annoying.

It took about two years for one of my exes and me to develop a friendship that was a real friendship on its own...but he's one of my closest friends now after ten years (and I'm friends with at least one of his subsequent ex-girlfriends completely on our own).

But, I get it...stay busy, develop myself outside of the relationship...get strong enough on my own to be strong in another relationship...and, one day maybe we'll be friends. If we're not, then I'll be fine without it.