For some self harm is a coping skill.

For me I get the strongest urges when I feel alone or abandoned. Also but to a lesser degree when I don't feel like I am doing good enough. It was a way to express how I was feeling at the time.

Stopping self harm without replacing it with another skill that lets you deal with problems would feel horrorendous to me.

I think the key to stopping self harm is to reduce as much as you can the stressors in your life. Then build a support system. A group of poeple or even just someone you cam talk to when things get to much.

I think it takes a lot to understand why you do it and what you get out of it. Once you know what it does for you then you can work on more positive skills that can do the same thing.

If it makes you feel calm then try to hold off from doing it and do something that can calm you down like meditation, taking a bath or talking things out with someone you trust.

I still struggle. There was a point where I didn't do it for 8 years. Then some marriage problems and issues I was trying to deal with that I couldn't cope with in a positive way.

Try to find ways that are healthy that get the se effect. For me, nothing is as effective, but there are things I can do to be able to manage well enough when emotions come up that make me want to hurt myself.