Stuck in the house, I need to go outside, I know I need to go outside. Just go outside and it wont seem so scary. Im not even scared really, just stuck, like I really really really do not want to go out that door. I dont know why, well I do, I want to play with my horse, but as much as I practice mindfulness and just try to enjoy being with her its still such a drag. Now the guilt is setting in because I dont want to do it. But I do, but I just cant seem to get out that door. Excuses excuses, I know there was a time when this was easy, when I would wake up first thing and be out there with her. Why is it so hard now? It shouldnt be this hard. Its not even that hard, all I have to do is go outside... but its too hard.