I've been this way since I was a small child-- always felt the world is not a safe place and bad things can happen at any moment.
Been hypervigilent as long as I can remember- -- and being numb has been the only way I've coped and made it as far as I have-- I think that "numb" can be protective. Though I've been told it's not supposed to be desirable for long term............

Sorry you are feeling similar--

mandy