I have terrible sleep, haven't had a wink of good sleep in the past two years. It's starting to be detrimental to my schooling and personal life, since I'm 18 and supposed to go for college next year. At this point in my life, I should be figuring out my priorities, my desires ans goals. Instead, I feel anxious, depressed, exhausted and deprived of rest.

I have severe Scoliosis, both curves in my cervical and lumbar are in the high 50s, but luckily holding. I have done bracing, hard and flexible, in the past, as well as therapy. I now do upper cervical alignment to help with nerve issues caused by my Scoliosis. However, another negative side-effect is that I have terrible sleep. I either wake up during the night, or will surf on the edge of consciousness/sleep at random intervals during my sleep. I wake to each day feeling tired and drained. My head feels like a pressurized balloon, and I have become this pessimistic person that my parents don't like. I don't like it.

My mother has suggested getting depression medication, but I think I also need sleeping medication so that I can finally get the deep sleep necessary to feel rested.

Do any of you have sleeping medication suggestions that aren't addictive? I think it will be a while, and I have tried every trick in the book to relax before I sleep.

Also, the handful of times I have dreamed in the past year, they have been violent dreams (which isn't that odd, actually. As a writer of fantasy and sci-fi, my dreams have always been a little dark) however, these dreams are different in that they are about me. In the most recent, I had fallen on my back, the environment a gray blur. I stared skyward and had my arms on the ground above my head. Then two men pierced my armpits with spears, on an angled that made them exit next to the upper part of my back, on the inside edge of my shoulder blades. I couldn't move my arms, the pain was indescribable, and I felt like I couldn't breathe, that I would die. I came to, panting and my heart beating so hard it hurt. Talking about it makes me feel ill and faint. I have had this a few times, each time after the first in daylight. Because my sleep is terrible, sometimes daylight flies away from me without me realizing. I space out, and sometimes surf on the edge of consciousness and have odd dreams like this.

Does any of it mean anything?

I will appreciate any help you offer, so thank you for taking the time to read this.