Quote:
Originally Posted by 1914sierra
Sounds like you may need to work on assertiveness a bit. Have you asked your T to please turn off her phone before your session begins? If you have and she refuses without good reason, that would be her issue. But if you haven't established that boundary with her, that is something you could do to fix that problem. If you aren't speaking up in session about what you need to talk about, perhaps you could go in with a list or a journal and see if that would direct the session in your needed direction. It is okay to speak up for yourself and advocate for what you need from your therapist. That would be an important conversation to have.
Have you considered telling her you are considering leaving her? Perhaps you could go with a list, not of complaints, but of your needs and discuss this with her.
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Ahhhh Assertiveness: a word I hate and avoid at all costs.
I do sometimes have a list of things ready to talk about but t always manages to get back to what SHE feels is important. I didn't want to tell her I was leaving because it would upset her and she has been very good to me in other ways and apart from these things she is an excellent t.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerak67
Does this have something to do with the gf also? You feel like you should have left that relationship because of how you were treated so now you are going to leave t like you should have left gf? I don't know if that made sense.
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It makes perfect sense and you could be right. I felt betrayed by my ex, made a fool of and I feel t is doing the same sometimes. Taking advantage of my good nature. maybe I have finally decided not to be treated badly by anyone anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blur
Your T has been really inconsistent with boundaries and insensitive with you. I think you will definitely be better off with a more professional T. I know she is sometimes helpful too which makes things even more confusing. If you aren't sure about leaving you can always start looking at new Ts now while you are deciding whether or not to stay. Unfortunately it isn't surprising your last bad T's supervisor, your current T, is also not a good T. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree sadly. Are you going to look for a client centered T? It sounds like that is the type of T you would like from things you've said. While there are no perfect Ts there are good ones out there and you can find a good one. You deserve a T that is professional and competent. Please don't shortchange yourself.  |
Yes, you are right blur. It was almost like she was wanting to create transference and an independance on her from the start. I want to go back to my old t now though. I don't know why but I feel like I need to go back to her. I think she handled me all wrong but as t was her supervisor at the time maybe t was to blame for my abrupt termination. This also annoys me about t, I feel like she has lied to me from the start. I wish she would just tell me she was old ts supervisor.
I hope I can find a good one, my tutor at the moment is purely client centered and she lovely- she keeps stressing how the relationship is the most important part of this therapy so maybe it would be good for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
That makes sense. The Buddhists say, how you do anything is how you do everything. If you're sloppy on a small job, you'll be sloppy on a big important job. But if you're careful and meticulous on a small job, people feel they can trust you with a bigger one. If you can be assertive with one person, you can be assertive with anyone - or else maybe you let the other person decide how things are going to be.
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Thanks Hanster ,ales perfect sense as always.
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Originally Posted by Asiablue
you are NOT running away, you are recognising that you need more than what she can give. You are finally standing up for yourself and not accepting a crap service. She knows fine answering her phone is sessions and talking about herself is an absolute no-no Mona, it's not your job to make sure she sticks to the very basic of ethics. Don't talk yourself out of taking affirmative action. Get yourself a decent T who cares enough to put you at the centre of the relationship.  |
I need a decent t so badly to get my trust back. I think I am slowly losing some respect for therapists and the proffession but that is only my view as of my experience.