I do not think its wierd. I think its just part of the denial system. I think its great that you are aware of the thought patterns. And you are writing about it here. sometimes I have to drag myself, through a lot of resistance, to do what I know in my heart is right. Even if so much of me is not sure. Its a tough one. But I think you are doing great. Because you are aware of the thought process. And writing about it. THAT's PROGRESS