Hello I hope things are going better for you at this time. Are you amember of AA or NA. You could look into getting a sponsor if you have the time so when you get the urges you can go to a meeting or call a sponsor. Are you seeing a therapist? Getting therapy is a good step in the right direction as well. There are also NAMI and DBSA meetings available to attend as well. The alcohol Drug hotline is 1-800-821-4357 and the mental health hotline is 1-800-273-TALK. Take care I hope the best for you and I hope things get better for you soon. Sincerely soidhonia