The distractions of the day are gone. Now I'm left here alone, in the dark. There's too much pain sometimes I can't bear it. No amount of crying and praying is easing it tonight. So much despair in my soul I can't get away from it. Oh sure, during the day,when my kids are home and my house is busy, I get some relief. But it's always right there under the surface, waiting for the noise to quiet. So all I have left to do is be alone with it, right where it wants me. I need peace but the pain and regret is unrelenting tonight. The day was good. Family and pets. Working in my bees helped too. But tonight I can't sleep. I know one day I will be eaten up by this disease. I'm already losing. My husband and my older daughter see it too. Sometimes my safe place in my head cannot be found. I wish so much I didn't have this affliction