I do the same thing with the needle and bills. I have an extremely difficult time not stopping in high traffic to get an item of the road. I understand shutting down with the work thing too. I do it when I get overstressed or overwhelmed. My advice is to start assuming the antidepressants are helping and build off of that. Apply for jobs you think you can do before you start really thinking about what you can do. You can't say you're not qualified until they come back and tell you that. I think practicing the CBT on your own is really good too. Also taking time to distress when you can.