I have talked with a career counselor. He advised taking legal action against 2 former employers. But, when I spoke with an attorney, he advised that it would not be worth it because it would be difficult to assess and collect damages. So, I am stuck in the middle. No attorney wants to take the case but I seem to need at attorney's help. I need help from a T for the c-PTSD that I developed from months and years of being bullied on the job. I have also been bullied socially. It has taken its toll. The frustration and rage inside me is awful. Sadly, there doesn't seem to be much that a T can do for any of my issues.

I have contacted a P.I. to find out what former employers are saying. If their comments are false then I might have a defamation case against them - provided an attorney would take the case.

The T seems hesitant to talk about my c-PTSD issues. Probably because they are not curable. So far, she seems to be heading into the area of sexuality. I don't want to go there because my mind is already made up. I hate being gay and don't want a lover or even casual sex. Period. Being gay does not work for me and I do not want to make further efforts to make it work; being gay does not meet my needs and never will and of that I am certain. There are physical after effects that interfere with my being sexual that MDs cannot seem to explain and that they brush off. (Yup, another problem of mine for which there seems to be no cure.) I think the after effects are from having metabolic syndrome (for which there is no cure) and metabolic syndrome is a side-effect of having been neglected and emotionally abused as a child. It's all a viscous circle of things that seem to make me a freak of nature.

I guess it's predictable what will happen. This and all efforts by therapists will fail. Yet, I need some relief and need to discuss my issues. As usual - as always - there will be no progress and it will be very frustrating.