Hi,
Welcome. I would suggest as you say that you feel like harming yourself, that you may benifit from talking to a Mental Health Crisis worker, in regards to your feelings, of wanting to harm yourself. I would suggest perhaps an asesment for admition to an inpatient mental health facility as you have stated you have not the resourses for outpatient counseling, and where I live the community mental health center must provide you treatment if you are a danger to yourself or others.

Your precious life can not ever be replaced by money, as I would try not to worry about the finacual aspects of treatment in this critical time of your emotional mental crisis.

Medication may ease these thoughts and feelings, and help you to cope and see that there is indeed hope.

God Bless and Please do not give up hope.

Best Wishes-
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!