When I read that she has a boyfriend, you shouldn't try to make a move. She should either break up with her current boyfriend, or make it clear she doesn't want second love interest - you. It's not fair to you. not fair for her current BF. You need a girl that can give you all her attention, not split it with another boy. I think you need to put boundaries, between you and her because you'll need to do it with almost everyone you meet in the future. It's tough, emotion is complex. It's fine to hang out

I'm sorry what went on with your family in the past. At your age, it's normal to feel unsure about the future, I mean you've got love, career, moving out, money and independence in mind. It's a big leap. You haven't lived life yet, cause you're young so I don't think you know if you hate life (saying out of good intention). I'm older than you and I've been there. I hated life but I'm starting to love life. There's the bad, but there's the good. The very bad but the very good.