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I need help processing a situation with T, who I’ve seen weekly for three months. During sessions she has a habit of clicking a button on her cell. She doesn’t check VM or anything just keeps it on her side table and three or four times a session will pick it up and hit a button. It happened our very first session and all but one since then. At first I thought she was checking the time but it starts pretty early in session, she has three visible clocks and wears a watch so then I rationalized it was an unconscious action, she doesn’t realize she’s doing it. I found it very distracting and disruptive so I addressed directly with her in session five or six. She was quite approachable and seemed to understand my thoughts and thanked me for bringing it up. She confirmed it is unconscious and a habit she needs to break. She said my addressing it showed respect for myself and what I want from our dynamic. I stood up for myself by saying what you’re doing isn’t working for me. Okay, great, but she hasn’t changed her actions, she still picks up the phone multiple times a session! So where do I go from here? I’m not sure what to do as I internalize her not changing as dismissive and we talked about that in a session. I clearly stated the issue and what I wanted done about it. She acknowledged her part. Do I bring it up again with her? If I bring it up again do I be more clear that if she continues doing it I’m finding a new T? Do I accept it for what it is and go with the flow? Do I ignore it? How would anyone else handle this?
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