Also, thank you for reminding me that I have more choices these days. I forget sometimes. I've struggled finding a DBT program to get back into that will take my insurance, only recently am I seeing light at the end of that tunnel. Made me feel pretty helpless because I know I need help. but you are right, clean I have a lot more control, even if it's not as much control as I would like and probably can have upon successful completetion of DBT.
I have more choices now, like trying to find the nerve to approach a friend I care for. I didn't mean what I said to we will just call this person [. I let an argument [ and I were having get the best of me while I was drunk. [ and I had disagreed before, even had stopped speeking a few times before. but never had I said something so ugly until that day. Since I didn't mean it, I'm not sure why I said it. I guess I let the hurt I was feeling with [ get the best of me. I feel so ashamed for who I was then, and the choices I made then.
Sorry for the ramble. but the point I was trying to get to is that I have the choice now to approach [ with a clean/clear mind, and I have the choice to handle rejection in a healthy way if that is what happens. Thank you.