I want to write something especially to scorpiosis, feralkittymom, mykidsarecool, 1914Sierra, and elliemay.

I don't want you to think I didn't take into consideration and value your advice. I did! Very much so. You each made valid points and I disagree with my T that only professionals should give advice.

I think that I did talk about what's underneath my looking her up again, rather than focusing on the doing it and escalating my behavior. T normalized it, which in itself helps me not obsess about doing it. She even joked "So, did you find out anything about me that I don't know about myself?!" We talked about how I can get those things that I like about her life, into my life. It was focused on me, not her.

Reading your posts before my session helped me see what the focus should be. I also took into consideration the consequences of not telling my T. Hankster, I appreciate what you posted. I appreciate all of my hugs and replies in both threads.

I AM seeing this as a minor bump in the road, and I am driving on. It's not so smooth, but T and I know I'm going in the right direction and I will get to my destination eventually.