I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now. I was in a relationship with him for 5 years. It was a traumatic 5 years, I will leave it at that. I was in love with him and when it ended in 2008, I had a lot of hate for him. I just recently kind of let go of the hate. I've kept in touch with his uncle's wife over the years as we became friends. Today she informs me that he passed away, found in a car, not sure of reason for death yet. I'm only 32 and he's not that much older than me. I've never considered this moment before, but I imagine if I did a little over a year ago I probably would have said I wouldn't care and if it was years earlier before then my answer wouldn't have been pretty. Today I felt this immense shock, and I just have these thoughts racing through my head and I even cry but at the same time I am kinda numb but I don't like that feeling. I just feel unexplainable and weird. I can't imagine what his family is feeling right now, how his wife and kids feel. I haven't seen him in years but.....i dunno how to explain it...i dont know anything right now