i'm so sorry for everything you're going through. si can be really hard on both the si-er and the people who love them. it can be a huge strain on a relationship unfortunately. have you ever tried to explain to your bf that you're in a lot of pain, and that si helps you to deal with your pain? it might help. it also might help if you told him how you feel about yourself, and what kinds of things in your life are causing and have caused you so much pain. it might help him if he posted on this site or another like it about his feelings. then other si-ers can help you to explain to him what it's like, and how he can help. otherwise, i just tell him what you're going through the best way you can, and tell him how he can help. i hope you feel better soon. keep posting, anytime you need support. i'm here for you, and so are many others on this site!

((((((((((((STar427)))))))))))))) <---- hugs for you, only if it's ok with you

Take care! Best wishes!
SweetCrusader

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown