I am sorry I wasn't here sooner. I know how it feels when you are finally reaching out for help and it seems no one is listening. You have taken the first big step in the right direction, realizing that you can't do it on your own. It is not a question of strength, you are not weak. I know I finally reached a point where I was just done. Everyone is different but I agree drug treatment and counseling is a good place to start also NA. Don't give up you are worth it and you can do it!