Thank you so much for all of your replies. I needed the understanding more than anything. My husband and I sat down and looked at the bipolar and the OCD quiz. He thinks, well, he KNOWS that I am bipolar. (Where did he get his medical degree??) I am going to find a doctor that can help me. I think the reason that I am probably exhibiting some OCD symptoms is that for some time now, if I was actually ever honest to myself, I have known that I have a depression issue and I consider mania a relief from it. . even though it gets in the way of daily life. I just need help. I can't live like this and I know my family hurts b/c of it. Again thanks for your replies and any more are ALWAYS welcome. Can't wait to keep posting.