Take care, grieve, rave, rant, laugh, cry...be angry, be sad, it is all acceptable, understandable, whatever reaction you have is yours and is OK. I think these kinds of losses can be most traumatic, a sense of something "unfinished" even if "over", the ambiguous feelings/conflicting thoughts etc. You may also not be able to engage in the kinds of rituals people sometimes need when death occurs...
This is new, give yourself time, and a hug, and, if you can, get some comfort from others who care for you. (())