After having a holiday break from therapy, I was really psyched (ha ha) to go back and had lots of things I wanted to talk about. One of the things that comes up a lot is that I tend to not have a lot to say about things. I talk, but he says I never really seem to get very deep into anything. I always thought I just didn't have that much to say. Today I realized when he was asking me questions that I had the answers to his questions, I could think of the answers very clearly, but I couldn't say them. I would be thinking the answer and find myself saying "I'm not sure" or "I don't know". Or he would ask if I had something else to say about it and I would be saying no while I was thinking of the other things I had to say about it.

Later, I was thinking about how stupid that is. I don't understand what the problem is. I do trust this guy, so how come I can't just say what's on my mind? And I'm not talking about any major traumas or difficult subjects here, just everyday run of the mill stuff.

Practically speaking, I know the answer is that I should just tell him this. But realistically, how likely is it that I'm actually going to do that when I stumble on very simple basic questions while I'm there? I can see my self sitting there thinking all this and not saying anything.

I feel very stupid about this. The answer seems so perfectly easy and obvious yet I'm still failing. It's like the stock market - buy low, sell high - very easy, so how come we're not all raking it in? Or losing weight - eat less, move more - but still you can't seem to do it. How can I be getting this and not getting it at the same time?

I'm on the fence with this as to whether or not this means there's a lot I can get out of therapy or it's not for me and I should quit now. I know it's not all black and white, but right now I feel like I should either be able to go in there and spill my guts or not bother going back at all.

Tell me I'm not nuts about this....