Quote:
Originally Posted by boredporcupine
I think the bottom line here is if a T gives more support than a client can comfortably take in, make sense of, or if the support is of a kind that is more confusing than it is helpful, then they aren't helping the situation. Learning to be comfortable receiving support is a good task to take on in therapy, but you have to do it at your own pace.
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I agree with that - it makes a lot of sense. I am very much not used to getting any kind of support from my old t. I almost quit seeing him when I was telling him that I was having SUI thoughts and he gave me a lecture of how much of a mess I would make out of his life if I acted on any of them. I didn't because I thought I had nowhere else to go - a lot of ts in my area won't take on bpd patients. Then I found this one through a friend and had hope that I would finally be able to start making significant forward progress towards getting better.
I did want to clarify one thing - my t did not make me uncomfortable when he said he wanted to give me a hug. It came up because he asked me what I thought he was thinking when I was talking to him that night and I told him I thought he was thinking "Stop whining you stupid *****and grow up!" He asked if I wanted to know what he was really thinking and I said yes - that's where the hug comment came from. I in no way felt pressured to accept a hug and I made sure I told him immediately that physical contact like that would make me completely flip out. Not because of who he is but because physical contact with anyone when I am spiraling causes an instant panic attack.