My old T, i really admired, thought she was pretty and elegant and i wanted to be like her in a very loose sense... i wanted to possess some of her qualities but with the uniqueness of me. This T i have now i don't know well enough to say right now.

But i have a sense of wanting to be me but better if that makes sense?

I don't know if this is about self-confidence Rainbow or you trying to merge with her. All those things you are doing are only positive if you're doing it for you, to nurture your own qualities, to be more you. If you are doing them to be some sort of cardboard cut-out of your therapist then i think there's a problem.