Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
My old T, i really admired, thought she was pretty and elegant and i wanted to be like her in a very loose sense... i wanted to possess some of her qualities but with the uniqueness of me. This T i have now i don't know well enough to say right now.
But i have a sense of wanting to be me but better if that makes sense?
I don't know if this is about self-confidence Rainbow or you trying to merge with her. All those things you are doing are only positive if you're doing it for you, to nurture your own qualities, to be more you. If you are doing them to be some sort of cardboard cut-out of your therapist then i think there's a problem.
|
That's what I'm wondering about, Asiablue. I think it's both. I don't exactly want to merge with her, but I want to be close to her. It happens to be that T and I share some of the same interests, but she has pursued them more than I have. I want to be more like her, but still be myself--I think what you posted fits and does make sense: I want to be a better me. I want to have the quality of life that I think T has (of course I don't know everything about her life). So I think it's mostly for me. I wouldn't dress like her even though I like some of her clothes. I won't be a vegetarian (not sure she is one, but maybe) just because she may be one.