Hi, cdd05, and welcome to Psych Central! Of course, we can't diagnose here, but to me it sounds like there are some unhealthy factors in your relationship. And there would be a lot of tough matters for you two to deal with in the future if you stick together, as you say.

I am concerned about how cruel she sounds. I don't know if she has BPD, but if not, then it sounds like she might have some emotional issues that really need to be treated. And also, I suggest you talk to a counselor about what is happening with you. Maybe a professional can help you to evaluate this relationship and why you are struggling with letting go. Best wishes!