Hi Bree,
i noticed that said u were a singer, and it sounds like that's something that means a lot to u. in fact, it's something that u cld fuel all the pain that is driving ur eating disorder into. i can relate b/c i run track and when i was anorexic i was too weak to do track anymore. in the end, i decided i loved track more than my ED, and i cldn't have both so i gave up the ED. i am sure u can do the same, all the best