Medicalfox is right---it takes everyone a different amount of time to fully process and accept a psychiatric diagnosis. Some people never do. It took me a year-and-a-half, and even then I had a three-month stretch of stability which made me think maybe I was misdiagnosed (yeah, RIGHT!). Should've known that was grandiose thinking....anyway, I'm a bit hypomanic and I'm probably rambling a bit, my point is NEVER knock yourself down for having a mental illness, it doesn't make you a bad person and you didn't ask for it. None of us asked for it! Take your meds, do your self-care and know that you have support here.